All For Mom

5 Ways Women Make Better Leaders
By Jo Miller, Women's Leadership Coach
at MSN Careers

Conventional wisdom holds that a feminine leadership style would employ empathy rather than aggression, foster team-building instead of competition, and lead by consensus rather than by directing.

1. Team-Building

2. Empowering

3. Communication

4. Consensus-Building

5. Almost Everything Else

The Silver Fox? What Women Think About Gray Hair
By Marcy Barack
MSN LifeStyle: Boomers

The results are in. We asked Match.com users, "Ladies, is silver hair really sexy on guys?" and thousands said:

Gray hair is hot—72%
Let's admit up front that gray hair on men is distinguished. On women, it's just old. He's a silver fox. She's a crone. Oh, well, that's why there's Clairol.

The only thing better is when they're bald—12%
Let me just drop one name: Sean Connery. Or two: Patrick Stewart. Or three: Michael Jordan.

Silver's a sign he's passed his prime—16%
These gals are certainly entitled to this opinion, but in my book, the real turnoff is the thinning pelt. The long retreat of the hairline above the eyebrows leaves a skinny peninsula marooned over the nose. Then come the desperate attempts at disguise with the dreaded comb-over. At last, nothing remains but the semi-circular fringe above the collar.

Only an accident of genetics or a horrible brush with death turns a full head of hair gray while the owner is still young. In most people, it's a sign of advancing years. Aging confers many benefits on men:

1. They accumulate power and status in the form of money and position
When you go on a date with a silver fox, there's none of the dithering about that typifies a younger guy. He's got a plan. He'll pick you up. He may even open the door for you. If he's of the old school, there's no divvying up the check, either; it all goes on his platinum card. Once upon a time, a silver fox offered to send his airplane for me. Not every older guy has a fortune, but they are usually past the scrimping stage. Of course, you may have to make some allowances if he's still paying alimony and child support.

2. They become wise in the ways of the world and women
When you date an older guy, you reap the benefits of decades of female tutoring. All the women in his life who have preceded you—his mom, his girlfriends, especially his first wife—have hopefully taught him what women want. Those women educated him in the finer points of how to dress, how to act, how to listen, how to appreciate you.

3. They know how to have fun
The silver-haired fox who's going through a mid-life crisis typically drives a snazzy red sports car and throws around lots of money. He makes a great traveling companion. He's got decades of jokes to tell. And he's an enthusiastic lover. If he's already raised one family, chances are he may not want another. So if you don't particularly care for kids, he's a good choice.

4. They make good fathers
If you do want kids, and so does he, children from later marriages have certain advantages. A dad going through his second childhood makes a great playmate. And he may pay a lot more attention to children of his later years than kids who came along while he was fully immersed in building his career.

So Sweet: 21 Natural Ways to Scent Your Home
By Mary Ellen Pinkham
MSN Women / Food & Home

Long before aromatherapy candles, potpourri beads and plug-in air fresheners, women used simple home fragrance techniques to scent their homes. I included several creative fragrance suggestions in my first household hints book:

1-Selling your home? Before an open house, add to a pot of water any combination of allspice, cloves, orange peel, ground cinnamon, vanilla extract and fresh ginger, and simmer the mixture slowly on the stove. Prospective buyers will feel instantly at home.

2-Running late with dinner? Buy a little time by sauteing an onion in a little oil. The savory aroma will serve as a signal to hungry family members that dinner is on the way.

3-Want to give your home that "what's in the oven" fragrance? Consider the idea I called "faking baking": Sprinkle cinnamon and sugar in a tin pie pan and burn it slowly on the stove top over very low temperature or very low flame.

4-No time to clean? A spritz or two of pine cleaner will give unexpected visitors the impression that you slaved all day.
Times have changed since I wrote those first words of advice, but the simple techniques still work like a charm. Want a few more homespun fragrance tips? Here are up-to-date suggestions that will rid your home of off odors and circulate sweet scents throughout the day.

Natural Air Fresheners:
5-Vinegar is an inexpensive, effective deodorizer. To get rid of unpleasant odors (like cigarette smoke), pour 1/2 cup of vinegar in each of several containers and place them around the room.

6-Another smoke-neutralizing tip? Fill ashtrays with cat litter! This product puts out cigarettes and absorbs the smell.

7-To eliminate the scent of cabbage or other disagreeable odors wafting through the kitchen, simmer cinnamon sticks or cloves in a pot of water. Or boil 3 tablespoons of vinegar in 1 cup of water.

8-Rid your hands of fish odor by washing them with vinegar, then rinsing them with water.

9-Lingering odor on your plastic or wood cutting board? Cover the board with a paste of baking soda and water and let it set for 15 to 30 minutes. Remove the paste with hot soapy water - and as a final step, rub the entire board with a little lemon juice.

10-Oven cleaners tend to leave behind a strong chemical scent. To freshen the air (and your oven), place orange peels in the oven and bake them for l5 minutes at 300 degrees. Or do the same with a whole unpeeled lemon. After baking, leave the oven door slightly ajar, and take care not to touch the fruit until it has completely cooled.

11-Blast garbage disposal odor with simple ice cubes! Mix 1 cup of vinegar with 1 cup water (or enough water to fill an ice tray). Pour the mixture into your tray and freeze. Pop the ice cubes in the disposal and grind. Another thrifty option? Rather than discard orange, grapefruit, lemon and lime peels, freeze them and run a few through the disposal from time to time. Remember to flush the disposal with cold water afterward.

12-Sour microwave smells are easily eliminated. Add 2 tablespoons of lemon juice to 2 cups of water and microwave the solution on high power for 10 minutes. Leave the lemon water in the microwave for another 10 minutes, and then wipe down the microwave walls with a clean cloth dipped in a bit of the mixture. Repeat if necessary.

13-For simple fridge fresheners, cotton balls soaked in vanilla, or an open container of coffee grounds (even used coffee grounds!), do the trick.

14-The ultimate litter box deodorizer? For every 5 pounds of litter, add 2 teaspoons dried mint and 1 cup baking soda.

15-To quickly deodorize a bathroom, strike a match.

Sweet Home Fragrances:
16-To fill your living room with a spicy aroma, throw orange or tangerine peels, pinecones or potpourri into your fire.

17-Or make fragrant fire starters (nice presents for homeowners). Tie 6- to 8-inch pieces of pine and balsa branches, dried heather and lavender, small bunches of rosemary and thyme, and several cinnamon sticks together with raffia. As a finishing touch, glue small pinecones to the raffia bow with craft glue or a hot glue gun.

18-Old-fashioned pomanders add fragrance and make lovely decorations. To create your own clove-studded fruit, first choose an orange, lemon or lime; then poke holes in the surface with a pin and insert whole cloves into the holes. You can opt for a traditional look (surface entirely covered with cloves) or create your own unique design. To preserve a pomander, place it in a paper bag with powdered orrisroot, seal the bag, shake the contents and store the bag in a warm, dark spot for three weeks before use.

19-Scent a room or doorway with a potpourri wreath! To make one, brush white glue over the surface of a green Styrofoam wreath form, cover each and every inch with potpourri (don't leave bare spots!), and let your wreath dry overnight. Make a bow with wide, wire-edged ribbon and add it to your wreath. Voila - it's ready to display!

20-Another way to enjoy your favorite potpourri all day? Simmer it in a slow cooker.

21-To fill each room with a sweet scent, fill a length of panty hose loosely with your favorite spice blend, tie it at both ends and place it inside a hot air vent.

Mommy Time Outs
Do you feel tired, beaten and worn down?
Maybe you need a time out...

Have you ever found yourself so wrapped up in work that you have forgotten what its like to just enjoy being alive? As moms, we tend to do all and be all to everyone but ourselves.

Honestly, when was the last time you took time to just enjoy being alive? When was the last time you did something for the simple pleasure of doing it?

Whats so important about taking a time out for yourself, you ask? Mommy time outs are essential in preventing unwarranted outbursts of anger and onsets of depression while ending the mundane cycle we often put ourselves in.

The hardest part about taking a mommy time out, however is that a moms job is never done. Theres always one more load of laundry, one more set of dishes, another school function to attend, another assignment to complete and a child hollering, Mom!

So whats a mom to do? Its as simple as taking action.

And here are some sure fire ways to get mom to take a MOMMY TIME OUT...

Ask hubby to watch the kids. In only two hours, a mom can get her hair done, get a manicure, try on a few clothes, and have coffee with a friend. And, in two hours, a mom can go see that Chick Flick that no one else wants to see.
Start a Baby Swap. Simply put, two or more moms agree to watch anothers child for one to two hours, on a weekly or monthly basis.
Join a Bible study that offers childcare services or attend a study while the kids are in school.
Schedule an evening with a relative. You can have the kids hang out with Aunt Kathy the first Monday of every month, and Grandma Miller the third Saturday of the month.
Steal a few minutes out of the day by waking up an hour before the kids get up, just to read a book, have a cup of coffee and listen to the birds sing. Or stay up an extra hour in the evening and listen to the crickets chirp while you write in a journal and dream.
Wait until the kids fall asleep before you take your bath, then add a few bubbles, a relaxation tape, and a good book.
Let your husband unwind from work, put the kids down for bed, then sit back on the couch together watching a half hour long sitcom. If one isnt on at the time, tape a few for special moments such as these. Youll be surprised at how good it feels to laugh with your husband in a care-free environment.
Then once every few months, find overnight accommodations for the kids and enjoy a romantic evening with your husband. Not only will it make you feel beautiful and sexy, itll revitalize your marriage.

Alyice Edrich is the author of several work-from-home e-books, including one that allows parents to earn $50 in two hours without joining an MLM or home party business. She is also the editor of The Dabbling Mum.com a national publication for BUSY parents (http://thedabblingmum.com).

Suddenly Single

Sure, you've got the perfect shade of lipstick and the little black dress... but is that all you need? Hardly.

1. A fabulous photo of yourself
We all have that photo: The one where your smile, hair, and (let's be honest) bod all come together in one sexy little package, whether it's that snapshot from your hike in the Grand Canyon or that cocktail party photo where you're dressed to kill. Post that sucker at eye level on your fridge so your male guest can't help but notice it as he checks out if you have beer (see item #5). What he says: "Is that you?" What he means: "Daa-aamn, girl, you're hotter than I realized!" Keep a digital version handy so you can email it to online suitors or blind dates who want a glimpse of the goods beforehand. And never, ever throw it away—when you're 80-something it'll serve as an instant reminder that back in the day, you were a total dish!

2. A pretty pair of heels
Admit it. You feel like Maria from West Side Story (You feel pretty, oh so pretty…) when you slip on a pair of nice heels. The good news is that these days, you can transform virtually any outfit to make it on-the-town ready by adding heels to a skirt, jeans, cropped khakis, whatever. And no, they don't have to be towering stilettos, even a pair of 1-inch kitten heels will make you stride a little more confidently. (Added bonus: The taller you are, the more cute men you'll be able to see around the room.)

3. An Eminem CD
What's one of the first places a guy peruses when he walks into a woman's home? Her music collection. Good for you if you have an extensive one. But if all he sees is a stack of girl bands (say, the Indigo Girls, the Go-Go's, Joni Mitchell and the Bridget Jones' Diary soundtrack), he's going to panic. Balance out your collection with one CD, any CD, by Eminem and you have no idea how relieved he'll be. It shows you have an open mind and aren't easily offended—and that's music to any man's ears.

4. A great pickup line... and a way to blow 'em off
In this post-chivalrous period, we can't always depend on guys to initiate contact, so prepare thyself with one simple, non-cheesy icebreaker to lay on that cutie who's making his way to your area of the bar. Our favorite: "Hi. Having fun?" (Though a friend of mine has recently taken to asking well-dressed men, "Hetero, homo or metro?") And in cases when a guy initiates contact and you're not interested, better have a better blow-off than "Ummmm, no... " Our suggestion: "Sorry, I don't think the guy I'm seeing would appreciate it." Sure, it's a lie, but it'll let him down easy—without destroying his ego or making him think you're a jerk.

5. A six-pack of good bottled beer
A prepared single girl is ready to host and toast at any time. If you want to make a guy-guest feel at home and your girlfriends feel special, skip the mass-produced swill and go for microbrews like the exotically-named Smuttynose Shoals Pale Ale from Portsmouth, New Hampshire or the grandfather of microbrews, Sam Adams Boston Lager.

6. Bathroom reading
What man doesn't appreciate finding interesting reading in his sweetie's bathroom? So instead of tossing out your magazines when you're done reading them, toss them into a basket by the toilet. No need to go overboard with a stack of Sports Illustrated (if you don't follow sports, that would just be weird), but consider Newsweek or even Cosmopolitan (hey, this may be the only time he's a captive audience and can learn a few things). Or, just buy a book that's made for the bathroom, like Schott's Original Miscellany by Ben Schott ($10.17 at amazon.com) so he can learn a few things about shoelace lengths and sign language while he passes the, uh, time.

7. A business card
After the age of 18, it's no longer cute to scrawl your first name and phone number on a napkin and hand it to a man who wants to call you. So if your job doesn't provide a card or you'd prefer one with your personal email address and phone number on it, then have some made at your local Kinko's. The very budget-bound can get 250 full-color business cards for free from vistaprint.com if you don't mind the company's logo on the backside of the card. Hey, it's better than nothing. A napkin he can lose. A card he'll file and keep.

8. Earplugs
Ah, there's nothing sweeter than a man who wants to cuddle up with you in bed for a long night's sleep. Unless — SNZZGGHGHRRJJZZZ! — he snores so loudly you can't get any sleep. Prepare thyself for surprise snorers with a pair of earplugs stashed in your nightstand. (2 pairs of Mack's brand self-described "snore-proof" plugs sell for $2.79 at cvs.com.)

9. A straight male friend on your speed-dial
Every girl knows she needs a gay male friend she can go to for fashion advice (a personal Queer Eye for Your Closet). But when it comes to relationship advice, you need another source. While your female friends may have good intentions, if you really want to know if you should call that guy, save the guesswork and go to someone who's been there, done that.

10. A condom
Hey ladies, you know the drill by now. If you want to be able to have spontaneous fun of the bodily kind, you have to prepare for it yourself. You can't always count on him to have something in his back pocket—or a 24-hour drugstore on the route home. (Your new mantra: If you don't want it to break, you buy it.)

Amy Spencer writes relationship and lifestyle stories for Glamour, Maxim, Real Simple and other publications. She would like to thank her straight male friend for advising her on some of the essential items she was missing.

Article courtesy of Happen magazine, www.happenmag.com.